If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize