Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
