If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
