is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
