my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
