He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize