I think I won the penis lottery.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
