He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
