just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
