Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
