only if we run a train.
done.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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