You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
