Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
