My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
did you just send me my own nude
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize