Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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