I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
