he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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