i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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