you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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