I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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