apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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