I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
