just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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