And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize