You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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