You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But theres a keg here and me gusta
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
