why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
