i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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