WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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