put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
