He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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