i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
