Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
