my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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