was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize