if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
