Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
false alarm. still invincible.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
