Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Randomize
