When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
