There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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