how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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