after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
