have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
