Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
