Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
