I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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