i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
