Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
