Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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