We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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