But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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