so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
