I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
