just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
