There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
