He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
