i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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